Adversity

I wrote this on a recent Sunday.  Just a few thoughts on Adversity.

"If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small." Proverbs 24:10

My pastor preached an excellent message this morning about adversity and what to do when you face adversity. You can watch it here: https://youtu.be/4wKLqetGQRo

That sermon and another situation have had me thinking all afternoon about adversity and the ways I’ve seen different people react to it.

My mother faced much adversity in her life.  She was undervalued for most of her life and since the end of her life here on earth has been practically thrown away from honor that was due her. However, until the last few weeks of her life, she almost always had a smile on her face and a song at her fingertips. She handled her cancer diagnosis, treatment, and prognosis with grace.

My great grandmother became a widow at the age of 35, faced to rear 8 children from newborn to 17 years of age alone. She chose to rely on God for her provision, while continuing to work the farm, and served Him faithfully as church pianist for decades. 

My husband was basically left to fend for himself after the age of 18 — not a bad thing as he had reached adulthood and it’s a good thing for Men to be Men and to do for themselves. He joined the Army and later went to college working many hours to pay for his school bill and rent. He tells us often that he budgeted $10 for groceries, buying eggs, a block of cheese, bread, peanut butter, and ramen noodles to eat through the week.  He, like my grandfather, is one of the hardest-working men I know.

One of my dearest friends worked two and three jobs to put herself through school before she was married and later reared her children on next-to-nothing while her husband was going to Bible college and later worked in the ministry. She has fortitude like I have never seen (and the biggest heart of mercy). 

I look around at some young people today and wonder, “Where is the fortitude, the work ethic, the grace, and the desire to serve God even in adversity?”  I see young adults who do have jobs, but when faced with something they don’t want to do, they shut down — even when they opted to do it in the first place. A man’s word should be his bond.

The truth is: People do what they want to do. And unless a person has good character, they do not always do what they should do if they can find a way to escape. Sometimes you just have to suck it up, make the sacrifice, and trust God to take care of you in the meantime.

I’m not the best at this and I fail; however, as much as possible, I try to keep my word. Years ago, before I was married, I worked as a Customer Service Representative for an investment newsletter company. We had a tradition where when it was your birthday, the employee with the birthday prior to yours would buy the birthday person’s choice of treats for the whole company. Then, you would buy treats in honor of the person with the next birthday. I don’t remember what I picked for my birthday, but the next girl wanted donuts from Dunkin’ Donuts for her birthday. My car broke down the day before.  I had to get to work and I had to get donuts. All of my local friends at the time were students in Bible college and I knew none of them would be able to give me a ride. I didn’t want to ask my co-workers, so I did the only thing I knew to do:  I got up 1-1/2 hours earlier than usual and walked 3-½ miles to work, stopping to get donuts on the way. Fortunately, Dunkin’ was two doors down from my work, so I didn’t have to carry them far. I would have done the same thing every day to get to work and back until my car was fixed, but my boss fussed at me for not letting her know. A couple of co-workers gave me rides until my car was fixed and I later treated them to supper to show my appreciation. This is just a small example of how I have tried to honor my commitments. It’s the way I was reared, and it’s the way that I want to rear my daughter. 

I don’t want my daughter to grow up spoiled or soft or unprincipled. She has already seen examples of how different family members have done the hard thing. However, I am concerned that given today’s techno-instant world, that she’s going to not learn how to do the hard thing. Being an only child, she has a lot more privileges than most kids. However, I will say that even at a young age, she recognizes good and poor attitudes among her friends.

I wrote this as a way of processing a situation I came across recently.  I have learned through this situation that I need to teach my daughter how to do the hard things, to follow through on commitments, and to not be afraid to seek help when she needs it.  Just this morning, I observed and learned from the example of a friend who has shown the beauty of humility and grace when faced with one of God's lessons of life.

Readers, let's remember to not back down and flee adversity.  Rely on the Holy Spirit to help you in tough times.  Follow through on your commitments.  Don't be afraid to ask for help -- and if people do not understand, find someone who does.  If you have children, teach them these principles of life.